Micky says... look into my eyes
Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 11:41AM Is it just me, or do people shy away from each another these days? Is
it me, or don't we communicate anymore?
I Just came back from Los Angeles and felt like I was alone the
entire time. Not when I was with friends, but when out on the street
or at the airport, it occurred to me that people are avoiding eye
contact. I thought it might be a Los Angeles cultural thing, because
people are in their car all day and only communicate by phone.
But when I got back to San Francisco, I noticed exactly the same
behavior.
Why is it that we prefer to shy away from other human beings? Are we
that disenchanted? Are we afraid of strangers? Do we not care anymore?
I totally understand that ipods and cellphones provide plenty of
distraction. I understand that you don’t always want to be there for
other people, but we are missing out something very special.
There is nothing more beautiful than that short little moment when
two strangers make eye contact in the street. Either there's a smile,
because you recognize something in each another for example: both loving the
sunshine on your face, or you share the same smile about a little
kid’s remark about the wonders of life. It can be anything and it
should make you feel like we're all part of our world.
To me there is nothing better then walking to the gym in the morning
and actually making an effort to connect with strangers.
The best thing is giving them all a big smile when it is raining.
That’s when they get really confused about that 6’1" blond that just
passed by and locked eyes for a second.
It only takes a second…
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Reader Comments (10)
Living in the country I notice this when I visit the city. Around here you can walk down the street and say G'day and look in the eye people who you don't know and more than likely you get the same back try that in the city and you generally just get ignored or get strange looks (well I suppose at least they do make eye contact). The thing that I also notice that even around here it is the younger (I am 43) people that wont make the eye contact. Maybe it is a symptom of these ultra connected times that we a losing the art of true person to person communication because while we can post a photo on facebook it will never come close to real eye contact which would be a great pity.
I agree we seem to have stopped connecting. I can corroborate your findings from down here in Wellington, New Zealand. I think it all stems from the societal changes in parenthood. If you are not taught to care about your fellow people, then you won't. Modern parenting seems often to neglect the social responsibility angle and many younger people just don't care about others - it is reflected in youth crime figures. But then I look at the number of adults on the roads who drive selfishly and wonder if it started many, many years ago.
I enjoy reading your views - it is refreshing to read pure and simple English without having to force my way past poor grammar, spelling or sentence structure. Am I right in thinking English is not your first language? If that is the case, it is also a major indictment on the young who cannot seem to master it as a first language!
You may enjoy a series of podcasts I did about human behaviour - onlyhuman.mevio.com
I had the preview on the blog, and to me it felt like it was a piece i could have written myself.
For some reason i'm intrigued by this act.. wondering what goes into peoples minds.
What drives them to act in a certain way.
Eyes are the mirror of the soul, the true being of someone's character/believes etc.
People these days are feeling like showing true colours is a bad thing, because they somehow think they have to fit in to society and it''s standard.
I like who i am therefor i will make contact even to strangers, part curiousity and part showing that i;m not gonna cover my true colours.
It's something i teach my child to, and i hope she will take it in, and keep doing it.. :)
As about the English of young people these days.. it's horrible , as like Micky , i come from the Netherlands
So do not have English as my firts language.
I was quite shocked when i lived in the UK for a few months, to hear people speak, and if for some reason i did not know a word, they could not tell me what it was, or could not spell words right.
I had issues understanding them.
Such a shame that in my eyes a beautifull language gets ruined.
You'll notice that many of these people that aren't making eye contact have ear buds in and are safe in their own little world.
I think a lot of people are scared of making eye contact.
I think I'm often percieved as the nosey stranger, wanting to talk to anyone about anything.
Try it, push someone's comfort zone, see what happens.
I am one of these young 'uns (at just 23 and 3/4 ! ) I do wander around with my buds in, but I also try and make eye contact... I certainly take my buds out when I'm in a store or doing something that requires some sort of human interaction...
But I find in London, on the tube... you look at someone, they look back at you like you just spat at them... it's bizarre ! I notice it more and more - I feel thankful I was bought up in a church (though I am not religious) - I got to interact with people from the age of 4 up to the age of 94 ! I wonder if what everyone's so afraid of ?
Doesn't it feel great when you do have an interaction with the people around you?
My best times are when trains are running late, and everybody is agitated. People NEED to say that they don't like it!
HA, and what's beter than having eye contact with an attictive person? Or a couple of positive words in the morning! Makes me smile :D
Hoi Micky, wij zullen elkaar nooit spreken maar ook mijn gezin en ik weten hoe het voelt om door een strontkar over donderd te worden. Wij zijn letterlijk Nederland uit gevlucht zijn alles qua persoonlijke spullen kwijt geraken leven nu ons leven ergens ver bij Nederland vandaan en hoe moeilijk ook nooit willen wij meer terug. Micky blijf wie je bent en wordt gelukkig met diegene die jij wilt laat je geen kansen ontnemen ik heb dit helaas wel gedaan dus...
Micky, woon al mijn hele leven in Amsterdam en zie de laatste 10 jaar steeds meer chagrijn en dat merk je wanneer je net terug bent uit de US en even hier in Amsterdam een winkel instapt de manier waarop je word behandeld is schandelijk, de arrogantie van winkel personeel is ongekend, en dan op straat al die ontevreden smoelen.
met andere woorden je hebt helemaal gelijk dat Nederland een afzijk cultuur is.
Weet je wat je doet Mickey? Blijf lekker daar. Kun je andermans husband inpikken. Die je nu hebt ingepikt ruikt blijkbaar ook niet al te fris. Zijn eigen dochter noemt hem een marihuana-junk. Ja, wij houden van afzeiken, het liefst types als jij. Je verdient het. Om Nederlands een naar koeienstinkend land te noemen, hoe durf je!!!
Ik hoop je nooit tegen te komen. Stom wijf!!!!
En in 1 oogopslag, die slechts een seconde hoeft te duren kun je iemand onbeschaamd aankijken, of een andere emotie weerspiegelen, haat, liefde, lust etc.etc. Daarom zijn er ook hele volksstammen die oogcontact juist vermijden, om zichzelf of de ander niet in verlegenheid te brengen. Hollanders daarentegen bekijken de wereld meestal met een open blik en denken dat wat zij doen het juiste is. Wat iemand zelf denkt te zijn (eerlijk en oprecht) hoeft iemand nog niet uit te stralen. Die beleving (hoe je over komt op een ander) heb je namelijk niet in de hand.
Because of you...