Micky says... The BIG 4 0
Saturday, June 19, 2010 at 4:03PM July 8th, 1970 is my birth date. In less than a month it will be THE DATE. I’m turning 40. The big Four-Oh!
I’m probably the only woman in the world who always wanted to turn 40. Ask my friends. I've been introducing myself to people saying I’m almost 40 for years now. Why?
Not sure. I just felt that I was still too young for some things and being 40 is the perfect 'middle'. No one can tell me I’m too young. Actually I’m getting the ‘you're too old’ line lately. Not liking that.
So what is it about turning 40?
Why is it such a significant number? Is it because you are over the hill? Life expectancy is about 80 so from that angle it makes sense. Is it different for women than men? Yes. We have to consider our clock is ticking. I hate that expression, but it’s true. Are we going to have a baby or do we remain being the best sugar-aunty or godmother?
Did we fulfill our life so far? Did we achieve all we wanted to do while young and restless? Oh hell yeah!
And do we have the pillars of our life set?
Looking around, I’m very happy with how my life turned out. I found the love of my life and we're doing great. I never thought that would happen. I always thought I would end up marrying my gay friend and spending my old days singing Shirley Bessie’s 'This is my life' with a big vodka in my hand.
When I turned 30, I celebrated it BIG. 300 people dancing on the bar, the tables and the beds at the Supperclub in Amsterdam. It was a wild night. (The special MDMA punch might have helped.)
I wanted to do it again this decade (exchanging the punch for one filled with vitamin C and protein) but we moved to the USA and I don’t have 300 friends here (yet).
I do have this vision of a party. With all my friends and enemies. Why not, it’s the perfect time to bury the hatchets.
Watching photo’s and video from the archives; My first steps, my first performance, my first casting, my first boyfriend or maybe all of them. The strange haircuts and wardrobe through the years. My family, my mother. The people I worked with, lived with, slept with, loved.
Most people receive this retrospective when they're dead. Post mortem celebrations of life aren't fun. I wanna be there.
I want to walk around, champagne in hand, and celebrate youth. Celebrate friendship, all the highs and lows. Yes I want my friends to make funny speeches, completely embarrass me, and believe me they can. They know all! They probably remember things better than I do.
I always lived my life through the eyes of my friends. Without them I would be nothing. Without sharing there is nothing.
40 to me is the beginning of something new. Henry Miller said Life begins at 40 and I believe he’s right.
But I could never celebrate this new life without all the trouble I got in to before this special day.
So thank you dear friends, although you are far away.
I remember.
Reader Comments (6)
happy 40 birthday Mickey!
and listen to me: try to have a child *NOW* as this is the last final time when you still have this choice. Later you will not have this choice at all.
Sandra Bullock for example was putting off having children and then it never happened.
Men can have children later, women not.
Hey Micky, I got the link to your site from Adams tweet. I'm 33 myself and not half as popular as you, I imagine few are, but I kind of agree with life starts at 40 and what you say about "not being old enough". For your 40th, I suggest doing something to show people you're never too old! I remember my dad's 40th birthday, about 20 of his friends came round to the house for a party and he was picked up and thrown ten feet in the air several times!
The thing I've always had a problem with is if 40 is too old for some things and too young for others, then is there ever a right age? I'm starting training as a Driving Instructor soon, I would have done it years ago but even now I feel 34 (my age when I qualify) is too young, but I have recently seen other qualified instructors who are definitely younger than me. I think it is all about personal experience (the guy who instructed me was about 55 at the time), and how we perceive others. The key is perhaps to not care what others think.
I do however think CSB is right. I find most people, whether they want children or not, are so happy when they do, and the clock can't be turned back whether they do or don't. The decision is massive, and could change the course of history (well, you never know!) and children will turn your life (and your house!) upside down!
I saw Adam's tweet about this post when I was feeling really low about getting older. It helped! You have a wonderful attitude. :-)
(@gkneeisme on Twitter)
Ha ha ha u also stopped with E? Ha ha me too now like three years ago ( my reason was an car accident ) and yeah now i just dont even know a living soul anymore who is still doing it hey? They all disapeared out of my life ( by accident ha ha not by choise )
Strange enough after a while i dont even miss it any more like even a single moment .....all these highs and lows.... My life seems more like a calm and serene ocean these days ....instead of evry week spontanious storms and mist ( ha ha yes i do still drink a lottish quit often red wine and beeriokidoki )
My internet girlfriend still uses it .... i just met her and we are sort of in love...... But yeah she still uses it ..... But yeah to see her when se used it hey? It sometimes even hurts me a bit.to see her in such a trip....I dont know why but yeah.....I hope i can persuea (? spelling ) her to stop .....But yeah i just dont know the right words.....So i never started a conversation a bout it .... i just didnt came further like saying : Yeah ellenor good for u and dont forget to enjoy it while u are doing it.......
Ha ha Mickey ha ha u and me we where born both in the same excact year ha ha and me and my friends always joke ( 1970 ) thats a very good building year and so much things happened in these years.....
But really yeah like i do? my age to come? I miss being strong ( i do weaken a lot ) and i love being wise.....
Okidoki bey bey bey from Edwin Emanuel Posse
Ps ha ha my piano came in today....and yeah i was really doubting if i could still do the trick on it because yeah i lived so long time like 5 years without it..... But yeah the first attempt was a jazzy Brian Eno composition and ha ha ha my mojo on it still worked....Ha ha cool day
bey bey
hi mickey, wishing you a wonderfull 40. birthday!! it has happened to me several years ago, and i also thought it would hurt me and change me... it didnt. ofcourse you have to make some decisions because of your age and ofcourse you find your body not 20 anymore, but trust me, it doesnt hurt. thinking of your life so far, want changing...it is soo normal at 40. always thought it was a fairitale, but not...
luckely it is not the end of the world!!
i like reading your site, beeing there (SF usa and canada) years ago makes me feel so comfortable you write about it, feeling about all the differences, the "other life". keep on writing!
a big kiss for your birthday and a big hug to that wonderfull man of you, uit groningen.
The best (real) years of your life have just begun!!! xo