Micky Says... Honoring
Friday, August 27, 2010 at 3:18PM It’s been one year. My mother passed away on the night of August 28.
I don’t know about you but I’m one of those people where certain days have a special meaning. Like birthdays, but also the days your loved ones passed away. I’m trying to put not too much pressure on those dates but somehow it always slips in. I start to feel extra vulnerable the week before, my dreams change and in a conversation I can tear up just like that.
What to do about it? I guess just embrace it and honor it. Honor the ones you love.
Before my mother passed someone told me that when your mother is gone, somehow her presence becomes even stronger. Mothers seem to hold on to that umbilical cord even when they have gone to the other side. My mother sure did. She’s around me, laughs with me, gives me strength and I swear I can hear her talk sometimes. Most of the time I hear her voice when I do something very unpractical in the household or when Adam eats his food in an odd way. She was always very funny and straightforward in her expressions. She still is.
The first 40 years of my life she was my base, my home, my safe haven and point of focus. The next 40 years I’ll spend talking about her. I love sharing the funny stories about her absurd life and my upbringing. The stories of her last five years being very ill oddly enough, became the best ones to tell. She had dementia and due to that it caused many painful and hysterically funny moments.
Her grace, despite being sick for so long, gave me the last and most precious lesson in life. Even though she was so ill, she enjoyed every little moment outside of the hospital and care home. A cappuccino and slice of lemon meringue pie was the absolute hit. Every week we went to the same place near her home, just close enough for her to handle. An hour of being outdoors, people watching, and of course the taste of the treats.
Most of all she enjoyed my company. I could see her taking in every little moment. Her thankfulness for those moments was so big that it became a treat for me to take her out.
She showed me how to be thankful for life.
I think today I will take Adam to a cute little coffee shop here in Los Angeles, order an big piece of lemon meringue pie and toast to her with a cappuccino.
A toast to life.
Reader Comments (6)
yep, one doesn't appreciate people in her/his life enough and only when they are gone or lost, one starts to appreciate them and understand their importance. Of course you Micky always appreciated your mom but clearly now when she is gone, you miss her even more.
and let's not forget that your mom was a pioneer as you Micky are one of the first in Netherlands born via in vitro fertilization - so the more reason to appreciate your mom and her courage.
all the best!
She must have been a remarkable person and she raised you as being just as remarkable. Beautiful way to honour your mom. Love you xxx Bob
ha yeah my father also died lobg time ago : hard to miss one of your best friends hey?
hey mickey what do u think of this?
i dont know about u but i ** love it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BnTr65cWrc
this musician is not very famous ha yeah
bey and good luck to u
bey edwin x
ha ps ps mickey
ha what a coincedence.... i didnt see it the first time that i read your article but yeah my father also died on the 28th of august ( well yeah very long ago in 1989 )
okidoki buisy doing nothin here
love bey bey edwin
Mickey, I teared up reading your 'Honoring' blog post on the anniversary of your mother's passing. Beautiful words and sentiment, followed by gorgeous pictures of the two!!! xo
Ha for me its s long ago man....all my tears have dried up...yes sometimes me and my sister suddenly start to cry... on a warm cosy night when we have time and we have a candle on or so ....on those special moments we start missing him the most hey?....yeah my father died when i was 17.....my mother is strong like an ox.... she is almost 80 and still going strong...yeah she did stop smoking a few years ago hey? ha i think i will die sooner as my mom ha ha.....
i say "ha ha" a lot these days...i notice.....okidoki bey bey from edwin